Red Hook Pub Crawl Preview

Welcome to Red Hook, the part of New York the MTA forgot. Separated from the rest of Brooklyn by the Gowanus Expressway and the delicious-sounding Buttermilk Channel, Red Hook is a place you’ve probably never been. There’s no shame in that–you know a neighborhood is out of the way if the only way to get to it is to take the G train and then take a bus. Come on, man.

Big Bar Hunter has decided upon Red Hook as the site of the inaugural neighborhood pub crawl for a couple of reasons. Firstly, we postulated that the neighborhood’s isolation has protected it from the hipsters, high prices, and Party Rock Anthems that have tainted other city bars. In fact, Red Hook’s isolation may have protected it from the last 100 years of progress altogether. Below is an artist’s rendering of what Red Hook may look like:

We also expect to find adventure in Red Hook. Red Hook is the site of one of Brooklyn’s largest and poorest housing projects (read: expect cheap drinks) and was known as the crack capital of America in the ’90s. Normally this would concern us, but it turns out that Captain America lives in Red Hook so it’s totally okay. Although there is also the movie below, which may or may not be about Red Hook:

Here are places we may go on the crawl:

Brooklyn Ice House
Red Hook Bait & Tackle
Rocky Sullivan’s of Red Hook
Liberty Heights Tap Room

Please remember that we’re not hipsters looking for the most underground bar in the city. We’re antisocial-but-adventerous cheapskate alcoholics. There’s a difference.

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